Treading Water
by queerpoet
Summary: This takes places after the bar scene on May 20th. I was confused at how Reid went sad and depressed to carefree the next week. This is my attempt to explain it.
1. Chapter 1

I stared into Luke's eyes for a long moment, waiting for some confirmation of his feelings, good or bad. I saw nothing there but confusion. I swallowed slowly, before throwing random bills on the counter. I grabbed my coat, and said softly, "I can't do this."

I turned my back on Luke, and left the bar. I wanted him to follow me, but I knew he wouldn't. He was still in love with his precious Noah. And even if he wasn't, he would stay with him forever out of guilt, or obligation. The man was honor-bound.

It's what I loved most about him.

It's what I hated most about him.

I found my way to my car, and fumbled for my keys.

Damn it.

I couldn't find them.

I felt the jingle in the pocket, but something stopped me from pulling them out and getting into my car.

I felt the salty tang of tears sting my face.

Fuck this.

I wasn't going to cry in a parking lot where anyone could find me. I wasn't that kind of man.

I finally opened my door and found the sanctuary of the front seat.

"Luke," I murmured. "Damn you." My heart clenched in my chest, before the dam finally broke. I wasn't safe to drive like this.

I clutched at the steering wheel with trembling hands, and stared out into the rapidly dimming skyline.

Why had I ever come here?

I shut my eyes, and it was a few moments before I heard the tapping on my window.

I turned, and wasn't really surprised to see Luke standing outside. He looked pensive, and regretful. I rolled my eyes, and rolled down the window.

"What do you want, Mr. Snyder?" I said wearily.

He grinned sheepishly, and, for the first time, I wanted to smack the grin off his face.

"Can I come inside? I feel stupid standing out here."

I grimaced, but nodded my assent. I couldn't help but follow him with my eyes as he came around my car and got into the passenger seat. I drank him in thirstily.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" he asked.

"You should know by now, Luke." I answered, exhaling. "I want you. I want you more than I've ever wanted anything in my life. But I won't play sloppy seconds. It's me or him, Luke. I can't do this anymore."

I chanced a glance in his direction.

Oh no.

His lips were parted slightly. His pink tongue worried at his bottom lip.

I looked down at my hands in my lap. Then changed my mind, and looked out the windshield.

"Reid," he said softly. "I can't change how I feel about him." I appreciated him not mentioning the name. "He was my first. But it hasn't been good in awhile. I started to feel small and used. Like I was barely treading water."

I looked resolutely out the window, but he grabbed my hand, and held it firmly. I knew all too well about treading water. Before Oakdale, my life had been nothing but work and empty one night stands. Now I could separate it easily: before Luke, and after Luke.

He was still talking. I had to listen. I could tear my eyes away, but couldn't say the same for my ears.

"But I brought you here. I wasn't looking for someone new. But you just shattered me. You reminded me that I'm more than a dutiful boyfriend. You reminded me that I'm also a man who deserves to be treated as an equal. You challenge me, Reid. You make me feel better than myself."

I finally looked at him. His eyes were glimmering, but not with tears. My hand was captive in his, but I didn't care anymore. His words had broken something in me, in their own turn. I could feel my protections begin to crumble. I didn't peg myself for the sappy, romantic type, but crap. Apparently I really was that guy.

"Luke," I whispered.

His free hand grasped my cheek, and held on tight.

"I'm gonna kiss you now." he said softly.

"Okay." I murmured.

At first he was tentative, which surprised me. After a speech like that, I expected fireworks. I grabbed his arm and pulled him closer, no easy feat in the confines of the car. The heat of his mouth pressed against my own, and I growled huskily. My elbow grazed the horn, the loud noise surprising us both.

I chuckled. "I guess we should take this show on the road. My car is not really conducive to prolonged make out sessions."

He laughed as well, and replied, "I guess so. Your place or mine?"

I started to answer, but then thought better of it. I wanted to rip his clothes off, but I needed to be cautious.

"You want to get a pizza? Then I'll drive you home. I have to get up early tomorrow. I have an appointment." _With Noah._

He looked a little disappointed, but nodded anyway.

"I think I owe you a pizza." His fingers crept back into mine. His thumb made circles on my palm. His touch burned me like a firebrand.

"Now, you gotta stop that," I chided gently. "Or we'll never leave the car."

Luke smirked. "That would be a tragedy."

With a hiss of regret, I freed my hand, and started the car.

As I turned my head to back out, he asked, "Hey, do you play chess? We have a board at home, and I'd love to challenge the great Dr. Oliver."

I was glad he couldn't see the slow smile spread across my face. "I play a bit."

"You better not hustle me, Reid." he said, teasing.

As I turned in the direction of his house, I couldn't help but laugh.

"I wouldn't dream of it, Luke."

We drove to his home, my mind dancing with all the ways I wanted to, indeed, hustle Luke Snyder. I knew things still weren't settled between us, but I would take nebulous happiness over cruel uncertainty any day of the week. We pulled into his driveway, and he practically bounced out of the car.

"I had no idea you were so excitable." I said as I followed him.

"Well, what can I say, Reid. Something about you just does it for me."

He was first to go inside, and I stood back to regard his lithe body disappear into the darkness.

"You and me both, Mr. Snyder." I said softly.

I let the door close behind me, and stepped forward to claim my future.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

I should have fucking known.

I stood, ramrod straight, regarding the closed door with clinical detachment. Luke's pathetic sniveling wouldn't leave my brain. I wanted to be sick. I wanted to punch the wall. This was what I got for taking a chance on some idealized version of true love.

_"I want to be alone with you," _I'd moaned back at his home, moments before he'd seen Noah through the window. What a fool I was.

I would never be alone with Luke. Noah would hover over us forever, Luke's first and only love. I swallowed back the bile in my throat. I stumbled away from the door, and fell onto the couch, still clutching the remote control in my hand. I would have lain there forever, but I heard the door open.

"Geez, Reid, you look like someone shot your puppy. What's wrong?" Katie asked, crossing the room to me. I moved my legs, and she sat down beside me.

"Luke," I managed hoarsely. In a rush, I explained the whole story, seeing him at the bar, him following me outside, kissing him the next day after looking for Gabriel.

"I told him the fucking chess story, Katie," I said bitterly. "I hate talking about my past, because the only thing that matters is the present. I opened up to him, and he just stomped all over me."

She rubbed my back tenderly. I felt like Jacob, but it was somehow comforting.

"So he came over here after Noah broke up with him again?"

"Yeah," I said. "What's your point?"

"Well, you're the first person he came to after Noah rejected him again. He obviously has strong feelings for you, Reid. He feels comfortable around you"

"Because he thinks I'd make a great consolation prize." I interjected. "He can have me on the side while he pines for Noah."

"I don't think he's in love with Noah anymore, Reid. He's obsessed with you. I think he's falling for you, and it scares the crap out of him. But he loves Noah, because he was with him for so long. He just needs to figure it out, that's all. Give him some time."

"I've given him time!" I exploded, standing up suddenly. "It's not like I jumped him in the parking lot, for Christ's sake. It surprised me as much as anyone. But now I'm in love with a moronic twenty old boy who can't even respect me. He told me he was still in love with Noah, Katie. Twice! Who does that?"

I exhaled sharply, my entire body shaking. It was becoming clear now.

"I can't stay here," I said softly. "I have to get out of this town."

"Reid," Katie said, grabbing my arm. She made slow circles on my arm, and before I knew it, I was hugging her tightly.

She was warm, and I clung to her, my only lifeline. I refused to cry over him again, so instead I clutched her shoulders fiercely.

"I want to go home, Katie," I murmured. "I can't take this anymore."

"But you are home, Reid. What's in Dallas that's not here? He's not the only thing keeping you here. There's me, and Jacob. You have the neurology wing. You've got roots here now."

"In Dallas, I don't have to hurt like this. I can go back to my old life, and forget all about him."

Katie let me go, and stared into my eyes fiercely.

"You don't run from a fight, Dr. Oliver. You can't let Luke chase you out of Oakdale."

I stared back at her, ready with a snappy retort. Part of me hated this woman, but I knew she was only speaking the truth. It'd been a long time since I'd had someone so strongly in my corner. _She's right. I won't be pushed away. I'm not Luke. _My mind made up, I nodded quickly.

"You're right, Katie. I am a fighter." I gently released myself from her embrace, and steeled my nerves.

"And I'm going to fight for Luke."

"What do you mean, Reid? You just said Luke trampled all over you. Why the change of heart?"

I felt the calm of my old shell come over me once more. No more of that vulnerability crap. No more begging for scraps from Luke's table.

"Because I love him." I said simply.

Mother fucker. I couldn't believe I had said that out loud. What had he done to me?

"I'm in love with him, Katie. But if you're right, a part of him thinks I'm not good enough, that I can never measure up to the great Noah. Hell, maybe he thinks I just want to get laid. So - " I grabbed my keys off the end table. "I need to set him straight. If he still pulls that 'I'm in love with Noah," crap, then I'm done, Katie. I promise."

She looked worried.

"I'm nobody's punching bag, Katie. I won't be his doormat."

She regarded me for a moment, wide-eyed.

"I guess I can't change your mind, Reid. I still think you should leave him alone for a bit. But if you think you should go after him, I can't change your mind. Just be careful, okay?"

I kissed her forehead briefly.

"I will. Thank you for everything."

I turned and left her place before she could see my face change.

I'd lied to her, of course.

Yes, I loved Luke, but a bigger part of me wanted him to hurt. No one had ever scraped off my shell before. I had never let anyone get this close. In reward, he'd given me nothing but backpedaling, nothing but Noah.

Gritting my teeth, I went off in search of Luke.

To kiss him or kill him? I couldn't tell you.


	3. Chapter 3

**I'm sorry this part is so short. I have been so stuck on this story. It was the first fanfic I'd written years, and I think I got ahead of myself. I've finally decided to post this brief interlude with Luke, before getting back to Reid. Thank you for your patience.**

Chapter 3

Luke Snyder stared morosely at his soda. He'd ruined everything. Reid stormed into his life, and reminded him what it felt like to be truly wanted, and he'd responded by throwing Noah in his face.

Noah. That had been a disaster. Luke frowned as he remembered the keening desperation in his voice.

_ "I love you, Noah. I want to get back together. I want things to be the way they were before the accident." _

Even before he'd started speaking, he knew he was only clinging to a relationship that was already over. Luke was terrified of his attraction towards Reid. He wanted nothing more than to get back with Noah, and forget the last few months had ever happened. It didn't matter that Noah had been pushing him away for months. Luke just wanted to feel safe again, with the one person he thought he'd love forever.

But now that safety net was gone, driven away by his desperate lies and months of encroaching distance.

Luke knew he shouldn't be dwelling on his past with Noah. But he couldn't help it.

The desperation poured out of him, and soon he found himself kissing Reid, then lying to Noah's face. He still loved Noah, but he didn't want to get back together with him, not anymore. Reid throbbed at Luke's core, until one day he woke up on an ordinary day, and didn't think of Noah. Luke had stared into the mirror, and pictured Reid embracing him from behind. Reid's hands stroking his chest.

Luke closed his eyes and swallowed hot tears burning his throat.

_I said all the right things in the parking lot. How did I fuck everything up?_

He couldn't take anymore. He stood up, and left the bar. Though he was not drunk on alcohol, he stumbled anyway. His emotional state was in a shambles. Luke found a bench in the square and sat down heavily. He stared into the distance, completely in a daze. Finally, he shut his eyes and leaned against the bench. Home was out of the question. Everything in his room reminded him of Noah, the last person he wanted to think about right now.

As Luke sat on the bench, he kept seeing Reid's face in his thoughts. The cold indifference Reid had displayed in his apartment was nothing more than a mask. He knew that he had actually hurt Reid deeply, especially after the confrontation in the parking lot. He'd said all the right things, then within a few days, he'd thrown Noah in Reid's face. It didn't make any sense. Luke wanted Reid. He needed to let go of the dream of Noah, once and for all. He needed to embrace the possibility of Reid Oliver.

Luke sat up, and stared resolutely into the glimmering twilight. He scrubbed the tears off his face roughly, and stood up. He kept his head down, lost in thought as he walked to Katie's. Maybe Reid was still there.

If Luke could only get one more chance, he was going to take it, and not look back.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

For the second time in as many days, I stood outside Luke's mansion. Well, it was really his mother's mansion, but still. On the ride over, I'd calmed down a little. I thought of all the times in my life where I'd been torn between two appealing options. Turkey or ham. Pepperoni or supreme. Harvard or Yale.

Crap, now I was getting worked up again. _I am not a delicious foodstuff, or an enticing university. _I thought furiously. _I am the best damn neurologist in this country, and I don't treat Luke like dirt. I'm a great catch._

Apparently I'd been listening to too much of Katie's pop psychology. I shook my head like I was trying to get water out off of my ears.

Resolute now, I rang the doorbell. I was going to make his choice clear. I was going to kiss him senseless, then leave him, and see how he liked it. I was going to -

Luke's mother answered, looking frazzled.

"Dr. Oliver." Ms. Walsh said breathlessly. "Thank goodness you're here. Have you seen Luke? He was supposed to be home hours ago."

Only supreme control stopped my jaw from falling to the ground. I blinked twice, trying to reign in my feelings. What the hell was supposed to do now? The woman was practically sobbing in my arms. I could sense it, she was about to make the leap. For someone who always looked perpetually on the verge of tears, this was indeed serious.

"No, ma'am, I haven't." I said slowly. "I just came over to look for him. We need -" I cleared my throat and looked away from her penetrating gaze - "to discuss some business for the new neuro wing."

She actually smirked at me. She reached out and rubbed my forearm reassuringly. What is with the Snyders and all the touching?

"Dr. Oliver, you really don't have to lie. Anyone can see you have a thing for my son. He came back from your apartment, totally despondent. Then he went out for a drink at Yo's. He might still be there."

"Um." Brilliant reply, Reid.

I turned to walk back to my car, then thought better of it. I held out my hand, and shook hers gingerly.

"So that Noah thing?" I asked. "He's not still hung up on that guy, is he?" I knew I had to be careful here. If she could, she would have married Noah and had a thousand of his squinty babies.

Lily stared at me for a long moment. "Noah and Luke haven't been happy in months." she finally admitted. "Even before you came into town. But after he brought you here -"

"Kidnapped me, you mean." I couldn't help but clarify.

"Right. That." she rolled her eyes sheepishly. "After you came into town, he's just been glowing, Dr. Oliver. He's just having some trouble letting go of Noah. It was his first serious relationship, you know. But he hasn't really mentioned Noah much since they broke up. It's Reid this, and Reid that." Shrugging her shoulders, she gently let go of my hand. "I may not understand it yet, but you make my son happy."

I took a moment to absorb this news. If anyone knew Luke's feelings, it would be his mother.

"Ms. Walsh, If I'm going to be, you know, around." I stated nervously, feeling again like a high school teenager. "You might as well call me Reid."

Ms. Walsh smiled, and I knew where Luke got his dazzling smile.

"Okay, Reid. You can call me Lily. Let me know when you find him. He needs his medication."

"For the kidney transplant?" I guessed, remembering the scar I'd seen on Luke's stomach in Dallas.

"Yes, how did you know?"

Awkward. "Uh, he - uh - I've seen the scar." Briefly, I saw Luke's naked chest gleaming in my mind's eye. I had to fight to focus on her next words.

Lily fumbled for words. "So you two - you've already -"

"No!" I interjected. "Not yet." I hoped I wasn't blushing.

"All right, then." she hurried on. "I was going to ask if you could take Luke's pills to him. That way, he doesn't have to worry about coming home."

"Yes, of course," I answered. "I'd be happy to." I ignored the implications. I was going to see Luke, and I'd give him the pills when I saw him. Simple. "I'll take care of him - I mean, it."

"Great." she turned around and quickly retrieved the medication from the kitchen.

She gave me a measured glance. "You know, Reid, I told you once to treat my son right, and I can see you're doing that. Thank you."

"You're welcome." I said briskly.

I took the pills and finally headed to my car. As I got in, I realized I hadn't insulted her once.

I really was off my game.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

At last, Luke found himself standing in front of Katie's apartment complex. He searched the parking lot, and realized that Reid wasn't home. Or at least, his car wasn't there. Luke stood staring up at the building, indecisive. Should he text Reid, or leave a message on his voicemail? Should he go up and hang out with Katie until Reid got back?

Luke needed to make a decision. Standing outside made him look like a fool. Or a stalker.

_Great,_ Luke thought. _Reid would love that. To come home and see me standing out here. He'd never let me hear the end of it. That is, if he didn't completely ignore me._

Standing outside Reid's building only plunged Luke into self-doubt. He found himself reliving Reid's look of resigned anger over and over. Right before Reid had thrown Luke out, he'd glared at him, as if to say, _Of course this would happen. You were never going to want me._

Luke shrugged his shoulders, and began to walk from away from the building. He wasn't ready to face Reid yet. All he had was words. That had worked last time, but this time Luke had to give Reid something more than promises. Luke needed to be solid, and reassuring. He needed Reid to believe in the core of his bones that Luke wanted to be with him.

Luke headed back to the town square, and went to Al's. H ordered two servings of Al's chili with cornbread. He knew he couldn't visit Reid empty-handed; at this point in the game, words simply weren't enough. The hot chili was a reassuring weight in his hand. This time, as he went to back to the apartment, he had something tangible to give Reid. But he still needed to come armed with something to say to get Reid to even give him the time of day.

Luke waited outside once again, lost deep in thought. Nothing good enough came to mind. His mind was whirling with images, Reid's anger as he threw him out, the frank desire after their first kiss, the painful lust after their second.

Finally, Reid's face came to the forefront of his brain, the expression naked and honest.

_"I know what I did. It had nothing to do with the phone call. I wanted to kiss you. I've been waiting to kiss you for a long time. Luke."_

In that moment, Reid had operated on pure instinct. He had turned around, and taken what he wanted. Luke licked his lips slowly, remember the taste of Reid on his mouth. Every kiss after that had been explosive, passionate and painful. Nothing matched the simplicity of their first. A solid smack which was over before it began, but still remained first in Luke's memory.

Luke steeled himself, and marched up to Katie's. He knew exactly what to do. The time for flowery speeches was over. Luke needed to summon his best Dr. Oliver, and just tell the unvarnished truth. Kiss him with a promise.

With bated breath, Luke knocked on the door.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

I was exhausted. I'd gone to the town square. No Luke. To the Snyder pond. No Luke. Now I was finally back home. I pulled into the parking lot, and got out slowly. Luke's pills were a reassuring weight in my pocket. Reaching the porch, I decided to take the stairs to my floor. If I got myself good and tired, I could forget that I'd been chasing a ghost for a whole night.

It was only two flights, actually. It's a small town, remember. I reached my floor, a little sweaty from the exertion. I was lost in thoughts of Luke sneaking past me, sleeping in his room. Untroubled and peaceful. I stared straight ahead, at the blinking red exit sign at the end of the floor. Suddenly I stopped. Stepped back a few steps. Looked down.

Luke.

He leaned against the wall, next to my door. His eyes were closed, but he wasn't fully asleep. His pulse beat strongly against his throat. I leaned forward, and snapped my fingers in front of his face.

_It worked the first time._ I thought.

Luke bolted awake almost exactly the same as before. He snorted, and stared up at me.

"Reid?" he said softly. He moved to get to his feet, but I pressed my hand on his shoulder, forcing him to stay still. Our mouths were inches apart.

"You know, you are definitely not Sleeping Beauty." I joked.

"But do I get a kiss anyway?" Teasing.

I caressed his shoulder, and found his hand with my own.

"We'll see about that. We'll have to get you a key." With a small grunt, I helped him off the floor.

I tried to release my hand, but he held it tightly. He stepped a little closer to me, leaning forward, breathing me in. His tongue flickered against his teeth. His head inched ever closer, his lips had me in thrall. Slightly pink, soft and firm. My mouth parted of my own accord. Drawn to him, I started to -

"Crap, the chili!" he exclaimed, out of the blue.

_Most random non sequitur ever. _I thought, irritated.

He released my hand, and bent down to retrieve an here-to-fore unseen bag from Al's.

"A peace offering," he said sheepishly. "I was such a jackass. I had no right to do that to you. I'm so -"

"Stop it," I ordered. "Shut up. I don't accept apologies in hallways. Come inside, and we'll discuss everything." I barreled ahead to keep the kicked puppy look on his face to a minimum. Damn, his sad face was legendary.

I opened the door, and led him inside. The apartment was completely dark. Behind me, he fumbled for the light switch, and restored light to the room. Katie must have taken Jacob to stay with family. I reminded myself to buy her a large bouquet the next day.

Now, I was nervous. It was utterly ridiculous. He was standing behind me, holding surely cold chili and cornbread. I had his pills in my jeans pocket.

"Reid?" He said tremulously. I was so tired of hearing my name spoken in that insecure little voice. Luke was a man, not a little boy.

I turned around, and stepped into his personal space. I put my hands on his face, and stared at him intently.

"I have your pills." My left hand massaged his cheek, with as much care as I gave to my patients.

"Why-"

"Your mom was worried."

"You went to see my mom?"

I exhaled sharply, with a hint of annoyance. "Yes, Luke. I went to see her. She was actually quite - charming. She made it clear that you don't -"

"I don't want to be with Noah." he interjected. "I fucked up, Reid. I got scared. I'm so sorry."

I kissed his forehead tenderly, as his hands fell to rest on my back.

"Shh, baby." I whispered. I wasn't usually one for sappy little nothings, but Luke seriously looked like he was going to pass out. I thought I was supposed to be the wounded party here.

"Let's sit down, okay?"

He nodded. "Okay."

We sat on the couch. The pill bottle jarred my thigh. I pulled it out, and set it on the coffee table.

"Thank you for bringing those." he managed. "I have to take them every night."

"Luke, I know." I replied gruffly. "I am a doctor, remember."

"Of course I remember. You're the greatest doctor of all time. You remind me every day." His hand found its way to my knee, and squeezed.

"Luke," I gasped. Now that we were sitting, and he wasn't weepy, I felt the hot tinge of his fingers on my leg. I was human, after all.

He began to absentmindedly stroke my leg, in slow circles.

"What can I do to make it up to you?" he said. "What do you want me to do?"

I hissed, and removed his hand from my thigh.

"I want you to stop punishing yourself." I said softly. "You're not even letting me be mad, because you're too busy beating yourself up. You screwed up, yes. But you didn't fuck him. You didn't cheat on me, because we hadn't started anything yet. All you did was give into some memory of first love, something that used to make you feel safe, and whole, and warm."

I paused, and scooted closer to him.

His mouth was partially open, while his eyes darted back and forth.

"I get it, Luke." I murmured gently. "I get why you would do anything to hold onto that love."

"You do?" he asked.

I shrugged, knowing I was about to lay all my cards on the table. "Of course I do," I answered, looking down into my lap.

He grabbed my chin, and forced my head up.

"Why, Reid?"

"Cuz that's how I feel about you."

I waited, suspended in time, for him to respond.

He licked his lips, and I could sense the imminent rejection. He wasn't ready for this. He could buy all the chili in Texas, and it still wouldn't erase Noah.

I shut my eyes, and prepared to let him off the hook.

"Luke, I -"

Suddenly, his mouth was on mine. His touch was forceful but tender, and I felt myself being levered back onto the couch. His tongue slipped inside, skirting around my teeth with ease. I answered with my tongue, tasting him freely.

Luke's hands landed in my hair, probing greedily. My hands splayed across the couch, as I fumbled for purchase. As he began to grind against me, I pushed up eagerly. I wanted my hands to press against his chest and stop the assault, but they didn't obey. I trailed along his chest, and began at work at his belt buckle.

My stomach growled loudly.

He released me with a husky sigh. His eyes were dancing.

"Good thing I brought the chili," he said, smirking.

I swallowed, and grinned despite myself. "Yeah, I guess so."

He extracted himself from the couch, dropping a lingering kiss on my lips. My body thrust forward of its own accord, but he was gone before I could do anything.

"I'll just warm this up," he said over his shoulder.

"You do that," I whispered, rubbing my mouth. _It's not the only thing you've warmed up._

I sat up, and grabbed the blasted pills off the coffee table.

I went to the kitchen, and sat them on the counter next to him. He stood in front of the microwave, back facing me.

"You still haven't taken them," I chided.

"They're better with food, anyway. They taste disgusting."

I stepped forward, encircling him with my arms. I kissed the back of his neck. He sighed, and leaned against me.

"This feels good," he said.

"Yes, it does." I said. "So, that kiss back there - that was -"

He twisted slightly to look at me.  
"It means," he said firmly. "That I want you. I want to spend the next fifty years driving you crazy." He turned completely around, and I dropped my arms. "What I had before was - well, it was good at times, but it also made me feel like nothing I ever did was good enough. I can't go back there, Reid. I'm done with him, for good. I promise you that. I've fallen for you, Reid. You make me feel like -"

"Like what?" I couldn't help but interrupt. He had yet to answer this question.

He blinked, and regarded me seriously. "Like I can do anything. You make me feel like I can take on anyone, as long as you're beside me."

The microwave pinged. He retrieved the chili and cornbread and set it on the kitchen table.

"You've said all this before," I reminded him gently. "What guarantee do I have this time?"

Luke handed me a spoon. "I guess you'll just have to trust me."

We sat down, and the chili smelled even better than I remembered.

I stared down into the bowl, for a long moment. Trust didn't come to me easily. Only Luke and Katie had penetrated my harsh exterior, and Luke had promptly betrayed my trust.

Could I trust him again?

"Okay," I said, looking up. "Here's the deal. We'll see how it goes. Put aside the declarations for now. I just want to be with you."

"Fair enough," he said quickly.

"So let's eat."

I was starving. I devoured the chili. He ate more slowly, watching me. His foot found mine under the table.

I set down my spoon, and began to eat the cornbread.

I couldn't help but laugh.

"Footsie. Seriously?"

He shrugged, sheepishly. "Whatever works."

I rolled my eyes, but obligingly rubbed my foot along his leg.

We ate in companionable silence.

It was weird. But I was starting to feel ... happy.


End file.
